Death Wish II aka Why Did it take me 30 Years to Meet Paul Kersey

Despite being an action movie buff, I just recently watched the first two Death Wish films. Two films, which most worshipers of the action/revenge genre would refer to as gospel, I had let go by for over 30 years. Why, I'm not quite sure. Possibly because my interest in action films didn't really go much beyond martial arts during my impressionable years. Guns and car chases were never really "a thing" for me until the latter part of my life. Sure, I always loved Seagal and JCVD, but those dicks were always so skilled with the hands and feet, firearms and explosions always looked like a suckers way out. Due to my obsession with Italian and 70's cinema over the last few years, I have actually become entranced with the shoot-em-ups and big explosions, and with those types of films came a fondness for Charles Bronson. Even though I put off watching his most famous works for a couple of years of being a fan of the Cinema God of Vengeance, I'm kind of glad I did because I was once again inspired to write for this piece-of-shit blog that hasn't been updated in many moons.

So I give a big thanks to Chuck for the inspiration.

As if 20 minutes ago I just finished watching Death Wish II, a flick that I'm sure many of my cohorts in the trash cinema world have not only watched repeatedly, but have probably written about on there own blogs. Besides that, I'm the freak idiot who never took the time to watch it. So even if you haven't masturbated to it, if you are reading this you have probably seen it, so I don't really think I have to summarize it.

If you haven't, the show goes something like this: Paul lives in LA after escaping his past bad luck, only to fall upon NEW bad luck. New bad luck being same as the old bad luck(violent muggers). New bad luck rapes and murders Paul's loved ones, so he goes out on a revenge spree, "nuff said. The story was told in the first movie, and repeats in this one. Since 5 other Death Wish movies were made, I'm sure the story was repeated another 3 times.

All I have to say is Paul Kersey is an extremely unlucky MFer. In the first film, his wife gets murdered and his daughter raped into catatonia. That is seriously too much for one man to take. Any of us would understand taking the law into his own hands, any Red-Blooded American Man would want to, especially during the 70's when Real Men ruled the silver screen. In the next film, his life's misfortune repeats in almost the exact same fashion, yet he still remains cool. In fact, 5 movies in and he's still going.

Fuck that shit! Any person stationed in reality would really start questioning the existence of a Higher Power. If not that, wondering what evil they had done in a previous life to deserve so much sorrow. That's some Hitler-level shit if you ask me. Paul Kersey keeps on killing punks. Joe Schmoe Normalguy would probably go on to commit suicide or join some kind of religious order, possibly both. This reason alone makes me question whether I want to see 3,4, and 5. It's seems like it would not only be unrealistic, but extremely played out at that point. I probably will though, not because I'm a sucker for punishment and really love Bronson. But because of the fact that the first two Death Wish films were utterly amazing and I'm sure I'll find similar qualities in the final three.

And My First Trick In Months Will Be...Deleted Octopus Scene From The Goonies

Every once in awhile I remember scenes from movies that never made the final cut but were part of the theatrical release. One of the "lost scenes" that has been haunting me for years was the Octopus scene from the Goonies. You see, I'm pretty fuckin' old, at least old enough to have seen The Goonies opening weekend, and the weekend after that, so on and so forth. As a child of the 80's, I probably watched The Goonies 6 to 8 times while it was in the theaters. Years later, after losing interest in the movies of my childhood to make room for sex, drugs, and other teenage interests, I found myself watching the Goonies on VHS for the first time in almost 10 years. Like a decade before, I loved the shit out of that flick but I knew something was missing. Over the years I would debate with my peers on whether they remembered an octopus or not. Most of the time I would just get the "your such a fuckin' geek" look, but most who shared the love would agree there was definitely something missing in the VHS cut.

And then, in the year 2000, the DVD was released, and the age-old question was answered. Unfortunately, I don't think it ever made a the DVD cut, but it was included in the deleted scenes, and I was finally at peace.

So here I bring you that very deleted scene that I have wasted 100's of hours of my life talking about.

Trailer for the Neo-Giallo Amer

This morning I realized it's about time to rejoin the Land of the Barely Living and pull myself out of the social(and digital) hiatus I imposed on myself 2 weeks ago(unemployment is a bitch). So what better way to kick off the new life than with a short a slightly entertaining blog entry highlighting a 2010 SXSW selection. I, of course, found this masterful trailer for the "neo-giallo" Amer at Twitch, the genre-film community's one(of many) stop for what passes as interesting news. I don't know how this little gem passed me up over the past couple of months, seeing that it has already won a handful of awards and has been on the festival circuit. Regardless, I love me some giallo and watching this trailer makes me think I should change my last name to Tentpants.

IMDB says-"Three key moments, all of them sensual, define Ana's life. Her carnal search sways between reality and colored fantasies becoming more and more oppressive. A black laced hand prevents her from screaming. The wind lifts her dress and caresses her thighs. A razor blade brushes her skin, where will this chaotic and carnivorous journey leave her? Written by Coach14"

Sounds pretty yellow to me. If your interested in furthering your knowledge of Amer, one of the Twitch contributors wrote a review that can be found somewhere around here.

Big Screen Big Apple: Gen or Glenda Tonight

In conjunction with Tim Burton's exhibit, MoMA is going to be showing some of the best, and worst, of the cinema that influenced Hollywood's biggest Darkstar. Getting back to the worst(for some, myself excluded)catagory, tonight New Yorkers get the pleasure of seeing the genderbending classic Glen or Glenda, directed by Hollywood's most crossdresser and worst director, Ed Wood. And he's not only the director, he also has a starring appearance in full feminine garb. So give the wife the credit card tonight and tell her to hit up the Meatpacking with her friends. When the coast is clear, throw on her best dress and that wig you've been hiding since Halloween, cuz it's time to hit up the MoMA!!!


Glen or Glenda(1953):IMDB says"Cross-dressing B-movie auteur Edward D. Wood Jr. was unleashed upon an unsuspecting world with this purportedly sincere attempt at understanding transvestism rendered unintelligible by Ed Wood's unfathomable script, bizarre pantomime-esque vignettes and a visibly morphine-addled Bela Lugosi shouting about big green dragons. Written by Anonymous"

Glen or Glenda
January 22nd @ 4:30 PM, MoMA 11 West 53rd St.

Big Screen Big Apple: Zatoichi the Fugitive Tonight

Until May, the Japan Society is going to be spotlighting Chambara Film, you know, samurais and shit. Tonight, denizens of The Big Apple get a rarity few eyes should miss, or at least those who love chambara cinema. Everyone's favorite blind masseuse is going to be hitting the big screen. That's right folks...Zatoichi!He slices, he dices, and he can even relax muscle tension. Tonight be sure to stop by the Japan Society for Zatoichi the Fugitive.

Zatoichi the Fugitive(1963):IMDB says "Blind swordsman/masseur Ichi (known as Zatoichi, or "Masseur Ichi") angers a local yakuza gang when he defeats several of them in a wrestling match. When he finds that his long lost love Tane is nearby and romantically involved with a tough samurai in the employ of the gang, he remains in the village. Meanwhile, the young heir to the leadership is forced to confront his own fear and weakness when the gang insists he fight Ichi. Written by Jim Beaver {jumblejim@prodigy.net}"

Zatoichi The Fugitive
January 22nd @ 7:30 pm The Japan Society 333 East 47th St.

Happy New Year and Happy Birthday

Thankfully the holidays are over. As much fun as it was, it was just a little too hectic for my taste. I know I say the same thing every year, and have the same amount of relief when its over, but god damn it's rough on a man! Now that it's over, it's hibernatin' time. Not that I'll be spending the rest of Winter sleeping, but there will be a bunch of sitting on my ass in front of the tube, polluting my DVD player. Not only am I going to get plenty of movie watching done, I'm going to try to get in at least 15 blog entries a month.

Now for the biggest reason I'm writing this little ditty, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Me, as in, Cinematografo Dei Trash, the very genre cinema blog you have your beady, little eyes focused on at this moment. It has been a year and a couple days since I started sharing my self-described expertise with the rest of the world, and I have learned quite a bit this past year. First off, it is really fuckin' hard to write a movie review every day. In the beginning I thought it might be probable, but it didn't take me long to realize it's not a good idea. Maybe one review a week, two if I'm lucky.

Second.....warm weather is a burden on my ability to sit in front of my computer. As much as I would like to spend a couple hours everyday updating this labor of love, when it's Springtime this guy wants to hit the parks and beer gardens! Hopefully this year I will learn how to better mange my time so that I may write more than 4 entries a month during the Spring.

I could go on and on with excuses about what I need to do to make this blog thingy a better experience, but in reality I just need more focus. I am proud of the fact that I am still going after a year. I haven't had a track record like that since my Livejournal days.

So here's to one more year!! Hopefully, if all goes well, you will be seeing a bunch more this year than in the last, and hopefully more contributors besides this guy!! One of these days CDT is going to be the Twitch of the realm of moustaches and car chases.

To another year!!!

The Goal: Watch and Review All Of Tantantino's Grindhouse Top 20

I would like to take a moment to thank those Figures of Greatness over at the Duece:Grindhouse Cinema Database. Besides being one of the greatest websites in the world of cult cinema, they are responsible for one of my newest and possibly most ambitious blogging goals to date. Yesterday the fine folks over at the Duece thought it would be a great idea to tweet Quentin Tatantino's list of his top 20 Grindhouse movies, one by one.

They aren't the only ones who thought it was a great idea.

Upon seeing this Holy Grail of Lists, I decided that it was part of my calling in life, besides being a amoral drunkard, to use this list to my advantage. I am going to watch and review every movie on this list, in no particular order. Thankfully, I've watched a couple, and maybe wrote a bit about them, so it should make my task that much easier. I don't know how long it will take me, but I will make sure I place a special marker in the title of each review to let all the little people in the blogosphere(myself included) when that days writings are going to be of the "special" variety.

I present you the list, as bestowed upon the rest of the world yesterday by our Grindhouse Gods over at The Deuce.

Quentin Tarantino's Official Top 20 Grindhouse Movies

1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2. Dawn of the Dead
3. Night of the Living Dead
4. Halloween
5. Coffy
6. Rolling Thunder
7. Five Fingers of Death
8. The Mack
9. The Girl From Starship Venus
10. The Last House On The Left
11. Master of the Flying Guillotine(OST review)
12. Wipeout
13. The Streetfighter movies ("You just have to kinda consider all three of them together." - QT)(II)
14. The Psychic
15. The Lady in Red
16. Thriller: A Cruel Picture
17. Suspiria
18. Hammer of the Gods
19. The Savage Seven
20. The Pom Pom Girls

Behold..the Massacrator trailer

While stuffing my face during my lunch break, I encountered a trailer over at Twitch(a site that gets much viewing time from many of us)that looked like a mouthful of awesome...The Massacrator.

I love the Terminator a bit more than I love Elvis, and seeing the two go head-to-head might be just as fun as watching Freddy Vs. Jason drunk. It's not the concept as much as the filming style that caught my attention. There is just something about grindhouse pops-and-tears mixed with stop motion animation that draw me to a film based on such a silly concept. I just don't see how such a beautiful idea could suck, and apparently I'm not the only one. The Massacrator will apparently be appearing at Slamdance 2010, and we all know those guys programming big festivals like Slamdance must know what the fuck they are talking about.

Like Levar Burton, don't take my word for it, but the trailer looks pretty fuckin' sweet.

Big Screen Big Apple:The Dark Crystal Tomorrow Night at 92Y Tribeca

When I was a child growing up in the 70's and 80's, nothing put a smile on my face like Jim Henson's Muppets. From Sesame Street as a wee child, to the Muppet Show when I was old enough to stay up for prime-time programming, it was all fun and laughs to me. That was until 1982 when I first saw the Dark Crystal in theaters and realized that some muppets could scare the living shit out of me. Of course I'm talking about the vulture-like Skeksis, along with a myriad of otherwordly Henson creations that change the face of the puppet industry. Thankfully I can relive my childhood fear tomorrow night at 92Y Tribeca. We'll see if the Skeksis still make my skin crawl.

IMDB says:"Another planet, another time. 1000 years ago the mysterious Dark Crystal was damaged by one of the Urskeks and an age of chaos has began! The evil race of grotesque birdlike lizards the Skeksis, gnomish dragons who rule their fantastic planet with an iron claw. Meanwhile the orphan Jen, raised in solitude by a race of the peace-loving wizards called the Mystics, embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of the Dark Crystal which gives the Skesis their power and restore the balance of the universe. Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}"

The Dark Crystal(1982)(Jim Henson)
Saturday December 12th, 10 PM
92Y Tribeca 200 Hudson Street

True King Will See The Light Of Day

About a month ago, I brought to light the story of two men, who happened to be really good friends of mine, with a dream to make a movie. Bife Productions set out to make a documentary about the more-human-than-human Steve Hawkes, but it order to finish said doc, they were going to need some help. Well ,thanks to the help of the outside world, True King is going to see the light of day!!

Tim and Peter were able to raise more than enough to complete the post-production, a great deal within the couple hours of the Kickstarter due date. I just want to give my sincere congratulations to the team over at Bife Productions. They worked long and hard, traveling thousands of miles and spending most of the production costs out of there own pocket. I would also like to thank all of there supporters who understand that this movie needs to be made. I'm dying to see it hit the festival circuit, and it will hopefully makes it way to NYC within the coming year.

Awesome job, guys! I hope this gives you faith to make more movies.