Taekwondo Gets it's Day in the Sun:English Trailer for the Kick

It's not very often I hear about action movies featuring Korea's national art, Taekwondo, especially in this day and age. I know they are out there, but considering the Asian action cinema world has been dickhard over Thailand and Malaysia, it's not suprising they slip under my radar. Well The Kick(2011) didn't, and with good reason. It's made and Thailand and directed by Ong Bak's Prachya Pinkaew, so technically Korea still isn't getting their day in the martial arts sun. Fuck it, they still have the horror market.

As far as I can tell, The Kick plays out out something like a Taekwondo Family Robinson. A family of Taekwondo experts moves to Bangkok for..um....bluer skies in hopes of setting up a gym. Some kind of treasured piece of art is stolen and it's up to "Robinsons" to solve the mystery and kick ass along the way. Exactly what I would expect from a Pinkaew film, just like the plot lines of his previous works. Seriously though, I don't usually watch martial arts films for storylines and plot devices any more than anybody else does. I watch them for the ass kicking and stunt work, something Pinkaew does well. And from what this trailer tells me, he is doing again.

Part Saw and Part Kick Ass?? Trailer for VS(2011)

Over the years my tolerance for low-budget indie horror has risen to epic proportions. There used to be a time when even newer Troma releases bugged the shit out of me. But over time, I have become a heluva lot more excepting of the new kids on the block working with a video camera. It probably has something to do with working programming on film festival a couple years back. Since then, I have actually had the desire to see amateur films, no matter how low the budget.

VS(2011) makes it's big screen debut October 26th at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival . If you take the time to watch the trailer, you can see what I mean by part Saw/Part Kick Ass, but that's the first impression I got. I have made it known time-and-time again about how much I'm not a fan of the Saw films, but I also grew up a rabid collector of all things X-Men. So all you have to do is throw the protagonists in some capes and tights and I'm good to go. Wait....the didn't sound so good.

Besides that, the Director, Jason Trost, wears an eye patch and developed his own martial art. That information alone is enough for me to want to see every movie he's ever made, no matter how low the budget.

Trailer for Flying Swords of Dragon Gate(2011)

Since Futbol(one of many pretentious ways of saying soccer)and primetime season are both in full effect, I haven't really spent much time watching movies over the last couple of weeks. Trust me, it will pass once the new TV shows get weeded out and/or I get bored with re-workings of old favorites, So it shouldn't be very much longer before I'm back in the swing of reviewing trashy movies once again.

Since I still want contribute something to my recently neglected trash cinema blog, I'm going to leave this entry with the just-released trailer of Tsui Hark's epic wuxia The Flying Swords of Dragon Gate(2011) starring Jet Li. Scheduled for a Winter release in China, word on the streets is that Flying Swords is going to be given the 3-D treatment. Typically I could give to shit about modern cinema's most overused technology, but this guy loves him some wire-fu and Chinese fantasy, which can only be made better with the use of 3-D tech. Since IMDB isn't really telling me much of what the film is about, I'm going to have to revisit in a couple of weeks. Until then, feast your eyes on the action-porn.

Trailer Release for Cuba's 1st Horror- Juan of the Dead

As far as zombie movies are concerned, I'm just as burned out as the rest of y'all motherfuckers. Truth be told, with the market oversaturation since the release of Land of the Dead several years back, I could go years before entertaining the idea of watching a new zombie movie. The exception being, of course, The Walking Dead, but that doesn't really count because it's a television show. As of today, I have found a new exception: A zombie movie from Cuba. Never before have I seen a movie from Cuba, much less a horror movie. I feel like I'm committing a federal crime just by talking about it.

According to Slashfilm and Dread Central, Juan of the Dead(2011) takes place 50 years after the Revolution. Cuba has become overrun with zombies, a blame which is being placed on the US Goverment(go figure!). Our hero Juan, decides the best way to use this lemon is to make lemonade, and takes it upon himself to start slaughtering animated corpses, but for a price. As far as I can tell from the trailer, Juan of the Dead could be compared to Sean of the Dead(duh) but with the social commentary of a dying totalitarian regime. I can live with that, despite the politics. I'm just glad to see Cuba finally become a productive member of film society, at least film that I'm in to.

Here's the trailer, courtesy of Latin Film Reviews:

Trailer for French Documentary Tarantino: The Disciple of Hong Kong

These days, there aren't a lot of docs that catch my, even fewer that are worth writing about. Being of the first generation of Americans bombarded with cable television from a very early age, I can honestly say at this point in my life I've seen most of what I need to see in the world of educational programming. When I was younger my inquisitive mind couldn't get enough of Discovery and TLC, especially when the topic discussed had anything to do with the paranormal. After 30 years of documentaries, I can honestly say I'm not learning anything new from 80% of the programs these days. Unless it has to do with crime or ancient civilization, I rarely have an interest. Unless, of course, the doc has to do with genre cinema, and then I'm all over it like a fly on shit.

Grindhouse and Exploitation docs are always worth a watch because, not only do I learn something about the object of my obsession, but I also get a whole new list of movies that I didn't know about and need to see. When I watch Not Quite Hollywood a couple months ago(review here)I practically got a boner over the tons of hours I would spend watching ozploitation films I knew nothing about. It's the same feeling I get when I've watched the handful of docs on Netflix the deal with Grindhouse and exploitation films. When Machete Maidens! becomes available to me, I'm probably not leaving the house for a couple days.

So you can see why I got excited over watching this trailer for a French documentary about Tarantino and the Kung-Fu movies that inspired him. Two of my favorite subjects rolled into one learning experience. I've seen a lot of kung-fu action cinema in my day, but I guarantee there is so much more missing. Not only does this doc give me the ability to know of what films influenced QT (even though I know many of them), but I also get to see interviews with the business itself. Kung-fu cinema being a genre that has been my favorite's for close to 30 years. Awesomesauce!

Unfortunately, the doc is made for French TV so the possibilities of seeing it on Netflix or on the festival circuit are few and far between. Hopefully there are those in the private BT community who can record and translate for those of us who are incapable of getting a hold of an understandable copy.

Thank to Twitch for the video.

Trailer for Ra-One - The most expensive Bollywood Movie Ever Made

The first trailer for what some people are calling "the Bollywood Ironman", Ra-One, was released to the world yesterday during the India-Australia World Cup Match(I'm assuming this is cricket, since I like to fancy myself as a football fanboy). According to the rumors flying around the internets, Ra-One is being toted as the most expensive movie ever made in India. Considering the amount of filmage that comes out of Bollywood each year, I'm wondering how many productions were shot down to make room for this Hindi superpiece. I, for one, am wondering if the second trailer release is going to include a dance number, because you know there's going to be one.

From what I understand, the general Indian release of Ra-One is going to be sometime in October. Unless an American company picks it up for distro over here or it hits the film festival circuit, we are probably only going to be able to see it when it is released on DVD, which will be quite some time after October. Thankfully I live in a city with a large Indian population and several Bollywood theaters. If it's as much of a blockbuster over there as anticipated, it won't be very much longer for me seeing it on the big screen in Jackson Heights or Elmhurst.

Are You Ready For Some Mum-Ra?

As you can tell from my multiple postings on the subject, I have been eagerly awaiting the release of the new Thundercats series. So when I gleened the second trailer release in the wee hours of the morning, I knew I would have to repost it for those who don't follow Beyond Hollywood as I do(there can't be that many of you). I didn't recall seeing much Mum-Ra in the first trailer release, and that left me feeling kind of empty. With this second trailer, we get a better idea of the storyline and plenty of Mum-Ra and his minions. My faith is restored!

Today's Web Sensation is Angry Birds Done Michael Bay-Style

Like many of the tech-obsessed generation of Americans who can't put their smart phones down for five minutes, I play some of the more popular games available. Although I'm not much of a video game guy these days, unless it's classic and I don't have to commit, so a great deal of my time is spent playing word games. Every once in awhile I get the urge to play me some Angry Birds, and it usually last for a couple of days. I'm not quite sure whether it's the strategy or the comedy I like more, but once I start playing I don't usually stop for a couple of days.

However, due to the comedic/cartoony aspect of the game, anytime I see a live action trailer for some kind of faux movie I can't help but take a few minutes to watch it, no matter how stupid it is. So when I came upon this current take on the Angry Birds storyline ala Michael Bay-style,, nothing was stopping me from taking a few minutes to watch the latest in a long line of Angry Bird related memes. If there is one thing that those in the genre cinema can come together for, it's usually a deep-seated hatrd for most things related to Michael Bay(although there are still a couple of you weirdos out there that eat the shit up, just to be different). So any meme that takes the piss out of Bay is good enough or me to repost. Think of it as spreading the Good Word, dork-style.

Four Screenings of Frankie in Blunderland, Two in Brooklyn

It's nice to see that Boston isn't the only city getting the indie-weirdness that is Frankie Goes To Blunderland(2011) this weekend. I was actually bummed out that I couldn't make it up north to the Boston Underground Film Festival, but seeing that one of the festival highlights is playing in my stomping grounds makes the pain fade away.

The Facebook page says - "A dark comedic drama, Frankie in Blunderland tells the story of Frank Bellini played by Aramis Sartorio (also known as adult film star Tommy Pistol). Frank’s life is a mess. His wife Katie hates him and his best friend Tommy Spioch who asked to crash on Frankie’s couch two years ago never left. After two possibly accidental homicides, two kidnappings and a visit from a talking butterfly Frankie’s world is turned upside down as he drifts and searches for his wife. He encounters a band of misfits along the way including an Alien Mormon, a Mystic Hobo, Robots and a beautiful Spider."

Fuckin' A Right, Buddy! Sounds like the best film of 2011 has already been made. To top it of, the Director and a couple cast members will be present for the 9:30 screening.

Friday, March 25th at 9:30PM & Midnight @ Spectacle 124 S. 3rd St., (at Bedford Ave.)Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Some Underwater Love at Tribeca 2011

Here is one of the first images released for Shinji Imaoka's Underwater Love(2011), care of Twitch, a modern day pinku which will be screening during Tribeca Film Festival's 2011 Cinemania Line-up(all the good genre shit). I didn't know much about Underwater Love until a couple minutes ago, but Twitch describes it as "a full on fantasy musical involving cross species sex between human women and kappa males - the kappa being an iconic turtle like creature from Japanese folklore."(Looks like the koopa are finally going to get there way with the Princess.)

If you are unsure what pinku cinema is, think of it as the Japanese version of Skinemax Late Night flicks, but with no camera focus on the genital regions. Because of this taboo, Japanese directors have had to get creative with camera angles and object placement over the years, typically giving the pinku film a unique style not seen in your run-of-the-mill sexploitation film. Fantasy and action elements are not uncommon within the genre, especially in the direct-to-dvd market, which I have sampled on more than one occasion (strictly for the ninjas). Seeing pinku eiga at a world-renowned film festival is a bit odd by my book, but I could be wrong.

Hopefully, we won't have to wait very long for a trailer release

FestQuest:SXSW 2011 Midnighters - Attack The Block(2011)

I have actually been waiting for about three weeks to here anything about the much anticipated Attack the Block(2011), the latest future blockbuster starring Nick Frost. All I've been able to gleen about the film in the last couple of weeks, besides the image above, is a one-line synopsis on IMDB. Thankfully a trailer was released late last week, and the world received an eagerly-awaited idea of what the sci-fi comedy was about:

Kids from the projects vs. an alien invasion of South London.

Sounds like a fuckin' blast. With all the alien invasion films currently killing the big screen these days, it's nice to see a movie with an original ,yet fun, premise. From the looks of the trailer, I would guess Attack is closer to a horror than sci-fi, either way I'm envious of all of those attending SXSW next week. With all the hype surrounding Simon Pegg and his alien comedy Paul, I'm sure there are going to be many heads eagerly waiting in line for the US premiere.

South by Southwest(SXSW) Film Conference and Festival 2011,March 11–19 in Austin, TX

Big Screen Big Apple- Insidious(2011) on Thurs. Mar. 3 at 8:45pm

As I've said before in a previous entry, I don't really have much of an interest in seeing Insidious(2011). There are those NYers out there who eat up this big-budget horror stuff, so you can say "I'm doing it for the kids"(if anyone who reads my shit actually is interested in newer horror). Regardless, Insidious is still one of the more interesting movies screening at Film Comments Select so I'm going to list it. Like with several of these movies screened at Film Comment Select, the director is going to be present for a Q&A after the shit goes down.

“In this super-scary reinvention of the haunted-house genre, Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne play a couple who move into a new house; soon enough things go bump in the night, apparitions appear, and their son falls into a mysterious coma. Finally the family decamps—but it’s only once they move into their new home that things get really frightening. One of the rules Wan (director of the original Saw) and writer Leigh Whannell set for themselves was that there would be no false scares. They never break that rule, and if that’s music to your ears, this is a must-see.”

—Gavin Smith, Film Comment November/December 2010

Thursday March 3rd @ 8:45 PM Walter Reade Theater, West 65th Street, between Broadway and Amsterdam Ave, on the upper level, Upper West Side

Choy Lee Fut trailer starring Kane Kosugi and Sammo Hung

"Big Ups" tenfold to the Blogger Gods over at Twitch for constantly providing me with hope for the future. As I was perusing the latest postings earlier this hour I happened upon this rough trailer for Choy Lee Fut starring both Sammo Hung and Kane Kosugi. Typically I have little interest for martial arts movies set in modern day, but seeing this trailer gave me black belt-level boner. It probably has something to do with seeing Kane Kosugi in a CHINESE martial arts flick with Hung, who apparently happens to be his best friend in real life. Long gone are the days of little Kane fighting gangs of punks with his ninja dad. He's his own badass now.

IMDB does have an entry for it yet, but from what I've read it stars the two as European best friends who happen to be students of Hung Gar style and then head off to learn the Choy Lee Fut style, a Southern Chinese form. The trailer gives it a Bloodsport element, which I'm not the least bit opposed to. I'm not quite sure when I'll get my chance to see this on American soil, but hopefully my dream will be fulfilled before 2012.

Big Screen Big Apple- Hobo with a Shotgun(2011) on Friday Feb. 18th at 11pm

Many will agree that one of the best things about the release of the Tarantino/Rodriguez throwback extravaganza Grindhouse were the fake trailers that ran before and in between the two releases. Some folks, not including myself, will say that they were the only good thing about it. Since then, a few of the fake trailers have actually taken a life of their own, outside of the trailers. As most of you know, Hobo With A Shotgun was the only one of the parody trailers not directed by a Hollywood notable. The creators won a contest,of thousands, and created a product good enough to shine with the rest of the garbage. It took a couple of years, but Hobo With A Shotgun(2011)is finally ready for the general population after shining at Sundance.

IMDB says -"A homeless vigilante blows away crooked cops, pedophile Santas, and other scumbags with his trusty pump-action shotgun."

I, for one, am a bit giddy for this one and will make every possible effort to get up to Lincoln Center this Friday Night. Especially Since the director is going to be there in person.

Friday February 18th @ 11PM Walter Reade Theater, West 65th Street, between Broadway and Amsterdam Ave, on the upper level, Upper West Side

FestQuest:SXSW 2011 Midnighters - Insidious

IMDB says - "A family looks to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called The Further."

I may be jumping to conclusions, but seeing "from the creators of Saw and Paranormal Activity" at the beginning of this trailer doesn't really draw me in. In fact, it makes me think that this film could end up being a waste of time It has been well established that I am a hater of the Saw franchise, and I liked Paranormal Activity but it should have been limited to a one off and not franchised. Insidious looks like it might be a bit too polished and "Big Hollywood" for my tastes. I don't really foresee a movie like this spending too much time on the festival circuit. I actually would be surprised if it was given a release to the general public sometime this summer.

I don't really see myself hitting up the theaters when it hits NYC, even if it makes the indie theater circuit. I could be wrong though, we will see how promising the reviews are. I'm pretty sure that the only was I'll be watching Insidious is if I have nothing left but it for an OnDemand selection, but you never know.



South by Southwest(SXSW) Film Conference and Festival 2011,March 11–19 in Austin, TX(as if you didn't know.)

FestQuest:SXSW 2011 Midnighters - The Divide

With the release of SXSW's Midnighter's and SXFantastic list over the last couple of days, I've decided now would be a good time to add the "FestQuest"(cheesy I know)section to Ye Olde Blogge. I've been dabbling with the idea for the last couple of weeks and now is a better time than ever with SXSW just around the corner. Besides, it gives me an excuse to blog something more than reviews and local NYC cult movie showings. More content makes me a busier guy in this time of extreme boredom.

I'm aware that several of these movies might have already been covered, even reviewed, due to the fact that they have probably been on the festival circuit for awhile. So don't scorn me for being a day late and a dollar short with a couple. In some cases I might not even cover it based on trailer availability. I have a format with each post that I like to follow. That format includes trailer at the bottom.

I'm going to kick this off with The Divide(2011), directed by Xavier Gens. For me, Gens is best known for the French horror Frontier(s), a movie in which I was able to see a one-night only screening of a couple of years back and really enjoyed. Before Frontier(s), there wasn't much out of France that interested me besides berets and cigarettes. Since then, I've been sure to keep my eyes open for anything new in the realm of horror.

The only help IMDB can provide with a summary for The Divide is "To survive the end of the world you must first survive each other." This, along with the trailer, makes me believe that The Divide is something of a post-apocalyptic movie with that Lord of the Flies thing going for it. I realize the idea is nothing new, but I have much faith in Gens' direction. Besides, Rosanna Arquette has what looks to be an active roll, and you can't go wrong with someone who inspired a Toto song, can you?



South by Southwest(SXSW) Film Conference and Festival 2011,March 11–19 in Austin, TX(as if you didn't know.)

The Razzies 2011 Nominations and My Unneeded Input

Although I am a self-proclaimed movie geek, the times I have sat down and watched an actual awards ceremony are few and far between. It's not that I don't care that a movie industry icon gets awarded for a job well done or not, because there is a small part of me that does. It's that very same part of me that browses US Weekly while I'm sitting on the toilet. It's not really knowledge that I care to have, but it allows to drop some trashy science when the female-to-male quotient is high in the room. Otherwise,I would just be an asshole boyfriend who gawks at the computer monitor when guests are over, and that would never fly with the girl. So having the slightest bit of knowledge about Pauly D's sex life and whether it involves Chloe Sevigny helps out in the long run.

A couple of weeks ago I actually participated in the Golden Globes Guessing Game for the first time. Although I didn't pay to much attention to the Ceremony, I still put my votes in as requested. Out of the three people in the room, I think I scored the lowest. As disappointing as it sounds, it didn't bother me to much, if at all. Unless the game involved 8-bit action or Angry Birds, I really not that competitive. Besides, as stated before I really don't see modern blockbusters until it's to late. Why pend 13 bucks to go see a new movie when I can buy 4 to 6 kung-fu flicks at the grocery store for the same price. See where I'm coming from?

One awards ceremony that does slightly spark my interest is the Golden Raspberry Awards, known to most as the Razzies. Instead of recognizing the best that cinema has to offer, like the half dozen or so ceremonies I don't care about, the Razzies nominate the worst. Me being one who raises the flag high in the Asshole Parade(if such a thing existed), this is something I could easily get behind. Especially when the ridicule is well-deserved. Yesterday the nominations for this year's Razzies were announced. As I did with the Golden Globes, I'm going to take it upon my self to use my irrelevant little space on the internet to submit, to the world, my nominations for the worst of the worst.

The 2011 Golden Raspberry Nominations

Worst Picture

- The Bounty Hunter
- The Last Airbender
- Sex and the City 2
- Twilight Saga: Eclipse
- Vampires Suck
As much as I hate Old Horseface(Sarah Jessica Parker) and sparkly emo-vamps, my vote for worst picture goes to The Last Airbender. As a fan of the cartoon, I had positive expectations that M. Night Shitman might be able to translate the story of the Avatar into to something entertaining. Boy was I wrong! Guess what, Night? Style over substance is not always a good thing, especially when you haven't been able to execute it for close to a decade.

Worst Actor

- Jack Black, Gulliver's Travels
- Gerard Butler, The Bounty Hunter
- Ashton Kutcher, Killers and Valentine's Day
- Taylor Lautner, Twilight Saga: Eclipse and Valentine's Day
- Robert Pattinson, Remember Me and Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Soooo difficult! But since I've never given my money to anything involving Pattinson and still have a place in my heart for Black, I going to have to go with Ashton Kutcher. Why doesn't this guy just disappear? Seriously Ashton, you made your money in the sitcom world which is more than you ever should have been allowed. Could you just get lost in between Demi Moore's legs already?


Worst Actress

- Jennifer Aniston, The Bounty Hunter and The Switch
- Miley Cyrus, The Last Song
- The Four Gal Pals, Sex and the City 2
- Megan Fox, Jonah Hex
- Kristen Stewart, Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Miley Cyrus. Even if I didn't watch her shitty romcom, she is still the Rosemary's Baby of the entertainment industry. How can the child of Disney and Billy Ray Cyrus be anything less?


Worst Supporting Actor

- Billy Ray Cyrus, The Last Song
- George Lopez, Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door and Valentine's Day
- Dev Patel, The Last Airbender
- Jackson Rathbone, The Last Airbender and Twilight Saga: Eclipse
- Rob Schneider, Grown Ups
It's unfair that we live in a Universe where Phil Hartman dies and Rob Schneider lives. It's even more unfair that Schneider is still going to continue making movies despite public opinion.


Worst Supporting Actress

- Jessica Alba, The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine's Day
- Cher, Burlesque
- Liza Minnelli, Sex and the City 2
- Nicola Peltz, The Last Airbender
- Barbra Streisand, Little Fockers
Is Cher ever going to come to the realization that 60 year old women are not sexy, no matter how much plastic surgery they get?


Worst Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3-D

- Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
- Clash of the Titans
- The Last Airbender
- Nutcracker 3-D
- Saw 3-D

I haven't seen any of these films in 3-D, so my vote is going to go to Saw 3-D based on principal. No torture porn franchise should have ever made it that far.

Worst Screen Couple/Ensemble

- Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler, The Bounty Hunter
- Josh Brolin's Face & Megan Fox's Accent, Jonah Hex
- The Entire Cast, The Last Airbender
- The Entire Cast, Sex and the City 2
- The Entire Cast, Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Twilight Saga. Do I really need to say why?


Worst Director

- The Expendables, Sylvester Stallone
- The Last Airbender, M. Night Shyamalan
- Sex and the City 2, Michael Patrick King
- Vampires Suck, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer
Fuck you, M. Night! You have now made it onto my list of People I Hope To Run Into In A Dark Alley. Tom Cruise is still at the top but it could be you if you continue to direct.


Worst Screenplay

- The Last Airbender, M. Night Shyamalan
- Little Fockers, Michael Hamburg & Larry Stuckey
- Sex and the City 2, Michael Patrick King
- Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Melissa Rosenberg
- Vampires Suck, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer
Yet some more Shyamalan hatred coming your way, blogospere!


Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel

- Clash of the Titans
- The Last Airbender
- Sex and the City 2
- Twilight Saga: Eclipse
- Vampires Suck
With the exception of Clash of the Titans, none of these movies should have been made. At this point, I am too drained of spirit to continue with my submissions, so it's going to have to remain a four-way tie. I can't even think about this shit anymore. Time to go decompress with something worth watching, which is anything at this point!