The Rider of The Skulls(1965) aka El charro de las Calaveras

Directed by Alfredo Salazar(The Aztec Mummy Against the Humanoid Robot(1958)(writer), The Aztec Mummy(1957)(writer),Devil Doll Men(1961)(writer))

Starring Dagoberto Rodriguez(Blue Demon contra cerebros infernales(1968), Santo contra los zombies(1962)), David Silva(The Holy Mountain(1973),Sisters of Satan(1978)) and Alicia Caro(100 Cries of Terror(1965))

It's been a long time since I've covered Mexican cinema. Specifically the broke-ass, Universal monster rip-offs that were prevalent during the 50's and 60's. Sure, I would rather watch a luchador movie, anytime and anywhere, but sitting down with microbudget monster movies is always worth the 90 minutes or less out of my day.

Today, I took some afternoon time to watch The Rider of the Skulls(1965), a film that not only has c-grade rip-off monsters, but also incorporates Mexican cinemas favorite element, A masked hero. Unlike Zorro, El Charro de las Calaveras wears a mask that is more akin to a burka and chooses to use his "fight" for justice to fight supernatural creatures instead of banditos. I know now the real scourge of the Mexican countryside are plaid-wearing werewolves. The movie brings us through three distinct stories that easily could have been the pilot episodes for a television show, albeit a really bad one. The werewolf I previously mentioned, Charro also ends up going head to head with a vampire and a headless horsemen. Throw in a crazy witch and a prophesizing zombie for good measure, and there you have it, a classic Mesoamerican western.

Does it sound ridiculous enough for you yet? If not, let me telll you about Charro's rather unorthodox approach to fighting beasties. In most movies, we see monster hunters use the conventional weapons such as silver bullets and wooden stakes. Not Charro, nosiree!! Charro carries a gun, and a machete as well, sometimes using them. But his preferred means of eliminating the forces of evil is punching the shit outta them,with the occasional judo throw tossed in. Who fucking knew that would work? Let's add in that he keeps the company of an alcoholic retard and two young, orphan boys and the weirdness just hits astronomical proportions.

Despite the really, really bad special effects and completely ridiculous storyline, I found myself loving this film. Partly for the very reasons I just mentioned. Okay..it's for most of it. Charro is nonstop laughs and something that should never be contained. Show it at parties, bars, wedding funerals, it is good for all occassions and everyone should see it.

.

The Blood Spattered Bride(1972) is Friday's Midnite Specracular...

...at Spectacle and it is yet another movie I know absolutely nothing about. Based on the trailer, I would say it has something to do with vampires, and seeing that it's a Spanish horror from the 70's, I'm going to guess that your going to see a fair amount of skin in this one. It's not like the kids over at Spectacle are ever going to let the Midnite crowd down. If that doesn't give you enough reasons to check it out, head on over to the IMDB entry to see what others have to say.

IMDB says - "A young husband's sexual fantasies frighten his new wife and cause her to seek advice from Carmilla, a descendent of Mircalla de Karnstein. Carmilla seduces the young bride and forces her to commit gory acts of mutilation."

Hmmmm....for some reason I feel like I've heard this story before. Could it be because their are several European productions, mostly from Spain, about the story of a vampiress named Camilla? I could be wrong(I'm not)but it looks like a popular subject matter in Spanish exploitation horror.

Fun Facts(or shall I say fact, because their is ony one on IMDB.....The Anchor Bay release of the film is in English, also dubbed in English to clean up the Spanish accents of the actors attempting English throughout. It is not likely that a Spanish language version of this film exists.

Friday, July 1st at Midnight @ Spectacle 124 S. 3rd St., (at Bedford Ave.)Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Bloodsucking Ozzie-Style with Thirst(1979)

Directed by Rod Hardy (Nick Fury: Agent of Shield-TV movie, lots of Television)

Produced by Antony I. Ginnane(Harlequin,Patrick,Treasure of the Yankee Zephyr)

Starring Chantal Contourri(Barry McKenzie Holds His Own,Alvin Rides Again, and Again! And Again! And Again!), Max Phipps(The Cars That Eat People,The Road Warrior,Stage Fright)and Henry Silva(The Italian Connection,Almost Human,Kidnap)



After seeing Not Quite Hollywood(review here) a couple months back, I decided it would be in my best interest to watch as many "ozploitation" films as I could get my grubby little hands on. So far, the quest has been pretty successful. I could probably do better if I weren't A)so lazy, and B)put my other cinematic interests aside for a long while. Since I don't see myself going through a severe personality change anytime soon, it's just going to have to remain this way. So my Path to Oz is also going to end up being the Path of Least Effort, because that's how we do...Man!

Like many attached men in the world, I occasionally like to share my movie watching experiences with the one I love. Since Mary doesn't share the same love for action/adventure that I do, I wanted to pick a film she would like. Fact: Chicks like vampires. There is just something about pale skin and eternal suffering on earth that really pulls at the female heartstrings. My girlfriend is no exception. This is a girl who secretly watched the first two Twilight movies in secret and refused to tell me for fear of ridicule. So getting her to watch a vampire movie takes no twisting of the arm. So this made Thirst(1979) pretty easy choice for us. Not only do I get to fill my ozploitation quota, but I get to enjoy it with my favorite person.

Kate is the last living blood relative of the infamous Lady Bathory. Being a modern women, this means very little to her, if anything at all. Why would it? Kate isn't exactly the type of women that screams blood-hungry mass murderer. Looking at her, you're more prone to think "holidays in Paris" rather than "bathing in the blood of virgins". Unfortunately, not everybody thinks that. As it turns out, there are people in the world that care about Kate's lineage more than she wants to know, and this is why Kate gets kidnapped. It turns out that Lady Bathory was responsible for the founding of a cult of blood suckers, who like to think of themselves as a "brotherhood". This "Brotherhood" has been pulling strings behind the scenes for centuries, as you would expect any secret society to do, and as vampires have moved beyond attacking villagers in the dead of night. The 70's vampire has ditched the hunter/gatherer lifestyle and followed in humanities path with a more agrarian/industrial lifestyle. Not only are humans, known affectionately as "blood cows" farmed for there life-sustaining fluids on premise, but the Brotherhood has also perfected the art of mass production for market gain. There is even a filtering process not unlike pasteurization.

It doesn't take Kate long to figure out what's going on, and she's not having it. I mean, really, what kind of person would want to be given eternal life and treated like a god? After an escape attempt or two, Kate is put through a rigorous "conditioning" to help her see the brighter side of her captor's lifestyle. Will she finally succumb and take her place amongst the blood-sucking elite?

If you read the IMDB reviews of Thirst, you'll see a good amount of "not your typical vampire movie" type of commentary. My question to them is, what is typical? If a person's idea of typical is Bram Stoker's Dracula, then I would have to agree. This is not your typical vampire flick, but how many of the memorable vampire films are? Lost Boys, From Dusk Till Dawn, The Hunger..to me these are the most memorable vampire films, and they have nothing to do with the regurgitated-many-times-over story of the Count. Unless a person has watched nothing but Universal Horror knock-offs their entire life, I have a hard time following the idea of a "typical vampire flick"

Thirst was memorable and different, but I'm not going to hold it to the highest regards like I do the three films previously mentioned. Yes, it's a different take on the vampire mythology, but is the concept of farming humans for sustenance really that original? Maybe if you've never seen a sci-fi or dystopian movie in your life, but for those of us that have, the concept is nothing new. Thirst was also quite the slow burn, or as some reviewers like to say, moody and atmospheric. If you just pulled a 10 hour work day, this is probably not the movie to sit down and relax with, unless you plan on falling asleep to it. It doesn't take long to figure out what's going on, but it feels like forever before you feel like something is actually happening. When shit does go down, pay attention. Especially when it concerns Henry Silva and a helicopter.

I would recommend Thirst to those fans of horror who have more of an affinity of The Shining than those who have seen all the Saw films. Thirst is the kind of movie you sit down with a loved one over a bottle of wine to watch, maybe two couples. For those of you party screeners, Thirst is going to be a bad choice unless you want to clear out a room oir arranging a slumber party. It's just not that type of movie.

Free Screening of Stake Land TONIGHT at 8:00pm

Hey Fangstaz, I would have put this up earlier if I had actually known about it. I just learned over from the amazing film nerds over at Subway Cinema News that there is going to be a free screening tonight of the "Fully-loaded, bloody-knuckled, post-apocalyptic, non-sparkle vampire movie getting a theatrical release later this month." I've read some really good reviews of Stake Land(2010) from festival circuit news, and am actually going to make an effort to get over there this evening if the rain actually lets up.

IMDB says - "Stake Land is a dark vision of a post-apocalyptic America that stands out in a sea of formulaic look-alikes. In director Jim Mickle's world, creatures who blur the line between vampires and zombies are creeping northward toward the Canadian border and eating everyone in their path. This is no typical genre film, though, as the real story unfolds slowly and deliberately with surprises at every turn.

Nick Damici is "Mister," vampire hunter and mentor to orphaned teen Martin (Connor Paolo) as they fight "the vamps" on their trek to New Eden, a monster-free zone where humanity has staked a claim. But darkness is the real enemy here, as they only come out at night, of course. Then there are the cult groups who see the plague as a golden opportunity to spread their own unique brands of oppression."

Tuesday, April 12 at 8pm, Free Screening, the School of Visual Arts Theater at 333 W 23rd St between 8th and 9th Avenues.

Big Screen Big Apple- Daughters of Darkness(1971) Wed. Feb. 23 at 7pm in Brooklyn

Looks like reRun has more awesome to it than I thought, and they already had shitloads of it with their food and beer selection. From the looks of the schedule, the screening of cult and trash wasn't just a one-time thing with Alien Vs. Ninja, as I thought. It looks like a continuing series of FREE midweek screenings. This week reRun, with the help of Blue Underground, is going to offer a free screening of the adult vampire classic, Daughters of Darkness(1971) to celebrate the blu-ray release on March 1st.

IMDB says - "A chic, good-looking and suitably 70's couple arrive at an extravagant and deserted seaside hotel after eloping. Stefan is wealthy and happily English, with a hidden streak of sadism, while Valarie is intelligent but of inferior (Swedish) blood. To keep her with him at the eerie hotel he lies consistantly about his relationship with his mother and his plans to tell her of their marriage. Meanwhile he has mysterious phone conversations with an older, dominant and pampered sissy. Two fresh guests arrive; the Hungarian countess, Elizabeth Bathory and her voluptuous protege, Ilona. Virgin corpses begin showing up about the city drained of their blood. A wary detective lurks around the hotel taunting his only suspect, the Countess."

Again, this is a free event, but your still going to need tickets, which can be acquired here. Tickets are limited to 4 per person and doors open at 6, for those of you who want to fet your drink on.

Wednesday February 235th at 7pm @ reRun Gastropub Theater 147 Front Street Brooklyn, NY 11201

SyFy's Being Human Has Almost Won Me Over

I first started seeing this poster during my morning commute about 4 months back. As with any advertisement I see for SyFy "original" programming, it sparked my curiosity. Syfy's original series have always been more of a hit than a miss for me. Even though I never jumped on the Battlestar Galactica bandwagon, shows like Eureka and Sliders(I know it started on Fox) have always caught my attention. I didn't know what to expect from Being Human, but all I need to do was a little bit of research to get my answer. And when I got my answer I felt nothing but contempt and disgust for the show and SyFy itself.

I found out Being Human was all about 3 roommates who happen to be supernatural creatures: a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost. It sounded like it was going to be a mixture of The Munsters and Three's Company, two shows that work fine on there own based on the time period they were popular. Campy monsters were very "early 60's" and swingin' singles did the late 70's justice. Mashing the two up together together to represent a modern day series would surely be atrocious, even for the Twi-tards. The thought of it not only pissed me off, but made me physically ill just thinking about it. In my mind, there was no way I would ever watch such a disgusting display of primetime entertainment. Or so I thought.....

As with many Americans, I am but half of a greater whole known as the monogamous relationship. And we all know with any good relationship there are equal parts give and take to keep a balance. Mary might not want to see every sleazy movie out of Italy and Japan, but she will sit by my side night-after-night watching them with me. In return, I try to give equal time to House Hunters and whatever is on Discovery Investigation. Not only is it fair, but I can honestly say most of the time it's an enjoyable experience for both of us. When the subject of Being Human came up about a month ago, I expressed my disdain. Not that it really mattered because My Beloved had an interest that rivaled my own in seeing The Cape (which turned out to be utterly disappointing). So we had an unspoken agreement to sit through both, no matter how what.

Within five minutes of watching the pilot episode, my disgust quickly turned into a silent rage. This was all due to being exposed one of my biggest horror-related pet peeves: daywalking vampires. If there is one thing that really pisses me off about the current batch of myth-raping vampire shows, and movies, it's the daywalker. Without Death-By-Sunlight as a deterrent, vampires are essentially unstoppable predatory gods, and that just makes for a boring storyline. Adding daywalking to my preconceived ideas on how the show was going to horribly play out was just a recipe for disastrous opinion. Or so I thought....

At this point in the series, I have watched three episodes. What I thought was going to be an excruciating hour of keeping my lip's zipped in discontent has actually turned out to be somewhat of an enjoyable new ritual with the girlfriend. By the end of the first episode my rage had subsided and by the end of the second episode I actually found myself slightly content by the turnout. After last night's episode I actually found myself talking it up a bit to my roommate.

Being Human didn't turn out to be as cheesy as I thought it was going to be, although it still has a cheese factor. Based on the premise it really can't be escaped. Thankfully the show is nothing like what I thought it was going to be. What little humor there is isn't slapstick as I was expecting, and the storyline and character development are interesting. The plot is character driven instead of premise driven. I was expecting the focus to be more about kooky roommate relations with the living area as the only backdrop. Although the living situation is an integral part of the storyline, what really shines is the focus on the personal struggles each of the characters have to endure on there own. The vampire has to deal with fighting his predatory urges and wolfboy has that whole Jekyll/Hyde ego vs. id struggle. Although I think ghost girl is the weakest link and most disinteresting, she still has to struggle with her new life being dead, which is probably, by my opinion, is what really brings what little comic cheese there is in the series. Even though it's not needed, it is still appreciated. The violence isn't half bad either. Although shows like CSI throw more gore at the audience in one episode than three of Being Human, it's far more violent in comparison to such weekly shitfests as The Vampire Diaries. I find the horror aspect to be an almost fair trade off for the lack keeping the mythology of the vampire accurate.

As much as I hate the idea of vampires walking around during the day appalling, Being Human has turned out to be an entertaining series. I've even been considering taking a look at the original British series, which I hear is better. I'm not going to say I've been completely turned to it as to be called a fan, but I'm no longer opposed to this new Monday night ritual following How I Met Your Mother.

Count Orlok in 3-D at Tribeca

Yesterday I was listening to the most excellent Cinemaslave podcast #116 and discovered some even more excellent news: The Murnau classic Nosferatu has been re-edited for 3-D!! Keith Carter, the director/animator and man responsible for this herculean effort, was able to dissect an original print of the movie and , through modern animation techniques, put forth a re-imagining unlike anything done.

The best part about this story is I'm going to be able to see it next week ,on the Big Screen at the NYC Horror Film Festival. New York, get your 3-D glasses ready, because Nosferatu:Orlock the Vampire in 3-D will be showing Saturday, November 21st, 1 PM, at the Tribeca Cinemas(54 Varick St., New York, NY 10013).

For a great interview with the director, follow the link here.
Time for some trailer action...

The Vampire Diaries or better yet, Diarrhea

Last night, while lounging around waiting for dinner, I came across the broadcast atrocity known as the Vampire Diaries. I know many of you have seen at least one episode of the Undead One Tree Hill, so I'm going to keep this pretty brief. Besides, you've probably heard it all before. I didn't just stumble upon Diaries thinking,"Hey, this might be good". I was actually more of the mindset of," I know I'm going to hate this, but I might as well give it a test drive". Besides, it will give me something to bitch about, and we all need to vent about shallow shit during the cold months. It keeps our blood boiling and body temperature up.

I, like everybody else in the horror community, have just about had enough with the vampire overkill prevalent in pop culture today. Again, we have all heard it, but I'm going to give my two cents. The older I get, everything that I once held sacred starts to lose it's meaning. Whether it be music,cinema, or fashion, the pink, fluffy pop machine has co-opted it and churned out a much weaker, brain-dead clone of almost everything in this world that made me happy in my youth. Anyway, before this turns into an old man rant, lets focus on the bloodsuckers.

As far as watered-down vampire culture is concerned, it's not even the cry baby vamps that bother me so much. I watch and like True Blood immensely. Even though Bill's a pussy, I'm still there for Erik. Even though i prefer my fanged folk to be barbaric, nosferatu, i can settle with the whiners, especially if they have opposition. What really bothers me are the daywalkers.

There are reasons vampires have weakness' like wooden stakes, silver, and sunlight. Because if they didn't, humanity as a whole would play slave race to Undead Godkind. Trust me, if vampires didn't burn up upon the touch of our friend, The Sun, they wouldn't be mopey,pale skinned whiners with a penchant for human girls. No, my friend, I guarantee their psychology, or lack there of, would change accordingly. I'm sure they would be worrying less about love and more about playing living-flesh chess.

This is one of the reasons why the idea of the daywalker bothers me. I'll go into more in depth one day, but I've given you a basic idea why I hate shows like Diaries and Twilight. Even if the vampires in Diaries weren't daywalkers, I'm sure I could find a million more reasons why the show sucks balls. As I said earlier though, if your reading this I'm just preaching to the choir.

Looks like I'll stick with Medium and a plethora of sitcoms for my primetime entertainment. I now know for a fact I won't be watching that Vampire Diarrhea's in the future.