Colin(2008)

I'm a huge fan of low budget movies if you couldn't already tell. I would say that the majority of the films I've reviewed don't even come close to having a budget of 1 mil. Most of them are probably made for less than 100 grand. I do have standards and try to steer clear of no budget cinema though. There are some Troma flicks that I won't touch or have had to shut off within minutes of hitting the play button. I do have some taste, despite what you may have read. I recently discovered a movie with a budget so low it scared the shit out of me. Less than 100 bucks! How can anything worthy of a public viewing be made for under 100 bucks? It made me curious to see what kind of movie could be made for less than the price of my bar tab on a bad night. Not only was it made on shoestring budget, it also showed at Cannes. After finding this out there was no doubt in my mind I had to track down Colin(2008), even though I have almost reached the point of saying goodbye to zombie movies for good, I had to watch it.

Colin is the story of one young man's struggle with the loss of his own humanity. The movie starts with our name character discovering, in shock, that he has has some type of wound inflicted upon him. This is quickly followed by an attack of the undead variety, in which Colin comes out victorious, even though said victory is worth very little. You see, we quickly learn that Colin has been infected, and slowly begins the process of kissing life as he knows, goodbye. not that it really mattrs much , considering that London is currently going through a zombie apocalypse. As Colin begins his slow-moving voyage through the dead-infested streets of London, we start to see the metamorphosis from life to (un)death. The whole time seeing, despite the flesh eating, robbing of his shoes, and a run-in with his sister, there are still aspects of Colin's humanity that he is trying to hold onto.

The fading humanity is theme that kept my interest the most. Sure, empathizing with the undead has been done before (I heart Bub), but never have I seen a movie that follows the poor little zombie boy down the path of the damned, like this one does. In movies like Land of the Dead and Day of the Dead the poor, wittle flesheaters are secondary characters, and nothing but. Colin provides us with a first-person perspective on how much it sucks to be a zombie. It's a life constant starvation, shambling, and fighting for your food while under the constant threat of angry, human hordes. Doesn't sound like any life I would pay to have.

I read a couple of reviews over at IMDB(my best friend) from viewers who didn't think as highly of Colin as I did. Complaints about the camerawork, the acting, and comparisons to a student film. No shit, Sherlock!! This movie was made for less than 100 bucks, what do you expect? Yes, shaky cam is an annoying technique, but it was used to incite anxiety and wasn't used too much. As far as the acting was concerned, you don't need to be a fuckin' thespian to groan and shamble. This is flesh-eating, not a Shakespeare production. The actors were all volunteers and most under the age of 21, so it of course wreaked of student film. It damn well could have been a student film, but I don't give a shit. It was a damn good time and I will watch it over and over, and probably tell others about it.

Enough ranting, I think this is a must see for any fan of the horror genre. Lack of quality camera equipment was compensated for with quality digital filters and decent editing. The special effects were realistic and never lacking, and the soundtrack was creepy and kept the film intense. I wish the director well and can't wait to view future endeavors. I'll gladly give him 90 minutes of my time in the future.

The Vampire Diaries or better yet, Diarrhea

Last night, while lounging around waiting for dinner, I came across the broadcast atrocity known as the Vampire Diaries. I know many of you have seen at least one episode of the Undead One Tree Hill, so I'm going to keep this pretty brief. Besides, you've probably heard it all before. I didn't just stumble upon Diaries thinking,"Hey, this might be good". I was actually more of the mindset of," I know I'm going to hate this, but I might as well give it a test drive". Besides, it will give me something to bitch about, and we all need to vent about shallow shit during the cold months. It keeps our blood boiling and body temperature up.

I, like everybody else in the horror community, have just about had enough with the vampire overkill prevalent in pop culture today. Again, we have all heard it, but I'm going to give my two cents. The older I get, everything that I once held sacred starts to lose it's meaning. Whether it be music,cinema, or fashion, the pink, fluffy pop machine has co-opted it and churned out a much weaker, brain-dead clone of almost everything in this world that made me happy in my youth. Anyway, before this turns into an old man rant, lets focus on the bloodsuckers.

As far as watered-down vampire culture is concerned, it's not even the cry baby vamps that bother me so much. I watch and like True Blood immensely. Even though Bill's a pussy, I'm still there for Erik. Even though i prefer my fanged folk to be barbaric, nosferatu, i can settle with the whiners, especially if they have opposition. What really bothers me are the daywalkers.

There are reasons vampires have weakness' like wooden stakes, silver, and sunlight. Because if they didn't, humanity as a whole would play slave race to Undead Godkind. Trust me, if vampires didn't burn up upon the touch of our friend, The Sun, they wouldn't be mopey,pale skinned whiners with a penchant for human girls. No, my friend, I guarantee their psychology, or lack there of, would change accordingly. I'm sure they would be worrying less about love and more about playing living-flesh chess.

This is one of the reasons why the idea of the daywalker bothers me. I'll go into more in depth one day, but I've given you a basic idea why I hate shows like Diaries and Twilight. Even if the vampires in Diaries weren't daywalkers, I'm sure I could find a million more reasons why the show sucks balls. As I said earlier though, if your reading this I'm just preaching to the choir.

Looks like I'll stick with Medium and a plethora of sitcoms for my primetime entertainment. I now know for a fact I won't be watching that Vampire Diarrhea's in the future.

Give Me An Extended Vacation To Midian

Question: Do I want to see an extended director's cut of one of my favorite Clive Barker horrors? I of course am speaking of Nightbreed, one of my fondest cinematic memories as a teenager. The answer would, of course, be "yes" with a capital Y.

I'm sure many horror fans out their feel the same way I do, if not all the horror fans in the world. But apparently, Morgan Creek, the company that owns the rights to Nightbreed don't really think so. In fact, there is a 159 minute cut in existence that might never see the black of night, and that's just wrong. From what I understand after listening to the latest Outside the Cinema podcast, Barker would even agree to do a director's cut if the extended version were to be released.

So what can we do to make this happen? I don't know if it's a fruitless effort or not, but the first step would be to join the letter writing campaign to Morgan Creek. Hopefully, if they hear enough of an outcry they will reconsider their decision to release one of the most visually-stimulating horror movies from it's era. I could definitely use an extra few minutes of Peloquin action, and I'm sure the rest of you sickos out there could too.

So write some letters, and lets make this happen. Try to be nice though. Remember, straight-laced, corporate probably don't respond well to hordes of angry nerds.

To contact Morgan Creek:

frontdesk@morgancreek.com

And to show your support for the effort by Clive's compatriots:

philandsarah@clivebarker.info

Running on Empty(1982)

I’m not much of a fan of stand alone flavor. Not that I hate mono-taste, I just don’t believe most foods work well by themselves.Can you imagine eating broccoli without butter or salt? Sure, vanilla ice cream is good, but the taste flies off the map when chocolate of any type is added? From curry to French cuisine, everybody can agree that food is always better paired with other tastes, and if you don’t agree, then you are probably the Emperor of the Land of Boring and feel sorry for you.

The same can’t always be said for film. Most Hollywood productions cater to a certain taste and don’t travel to far away from it.I myself am guilty of the same crime, as most of us are. Romantic comedies, modern, big-budget action, and chick flicks are all the same to me, but I will watch horror time-and-time again no matter how many times I’ve seen decapitations and blood sprays. Some might consider it boring and flavorless. FSM knows I do a great deal of the time, but this is how most people’s taste towards movies tend to veer.

You might ask yourself, ”Where the fuck are you going with this food and movie comparison?”

And my answer to you will be Running on Empty, a 1982 Ozploitation phenomenon that left me with a flavor explosion in my pants. I’m not going to say it was the best movie I have ever seen, but it certainly had a great deal of fun going on. If you think that a JD flick with a New Wave twist sounds interesting, then keep reading on my friend.

Mike is a factory worker with a fast car and a model girlfriend. After long days in the shop he likes to spend his days working on cars with his Italian best friend, Tony, and hanging out with his model girlfriend,Julie. Julie used to date Fox, the local Hot Rod King Douchebag, and he is none too happy about her picking Mike over himself. After a skirmish with Fox on the beach, Mike agrees to race him for money and loses, which causes a pretty severe ego bruising. After some taunting from Fox, Mike agrees to race Fox again, this time with the stakes being doubled. Unfortunately, Mike doesn't have the money, but he has a plan. He figures if he road trips in the country he might be able to raise the funds racing hicks and winning. See Mike has a fairly big ego for a city boy and doesn't realize that the country folk might be a bit more car-oriented than he prides himself on. After an unfortunate altercation with the local color, Mike realizes that his big plan might not have been the best idea. Fortunately, he and his posse are taken under the wing of and old, blind greaser and his plans for living at the top of his hot-rod game once again blossom when the old rockabilly helps Mike jack up his car to an even better state just in time for the next big cock race against the supremely creepy Fox.

Unfortunately, things don't go quite as planned and life plans don't follow Mike's dream storyboard. But he still has his honor and ego, which apparently is all a man needs in 80's Australia.

I've just got to say I think this flicked kick ass. I know nothing about cars and gearhead culture(I've never even owned a driver's license), but classic race movies like this are always fun. I may not know the operation but I understand the capability. I am, anyhow, a fan of aussie movies from this era. Great stunts, explosions, and sex. There really isn't much more to say about that. Yes, there are lots of bad movies to come out of Australia during that time, but I will still sit back and laugh at the ridiculous situations that come out of said movies. Everybody can get a chuckle out of cars that explode on impact and the willingness of the director to cater to the ego of the American male audience. If you love 70's and 80's action movies, where the male super-ego shines like a supergiant star, this is where it's at. Not to mention that the main characters provide so much entertainment as to make the movie abundant in the personality department.

I thought of the characters in this flick as an Australian government experiment in cloning the Stray Cats, but with that crazy Aussie persona. It was very New Wave era, but with less hair net and more rockabilly. The cars were fuckin' classic and the fashion was a perfect blend of Teddy Boy and glam punk. Seeing the old, blind greaser dance to a rockabilly tune, with his road hard betty put a huge grin on my face and I would have been even more satisfied if this was the soundtrack. Fortunately, I am a huge fan of synth OST, and the soundtrack was mainly this. For me, it was the best of both worlds, those being 80's synth and roots rock. The soundtrack keeps the movie interesting, in that 80's mixed with 50's JD sort of way.

Although, from what I read on IMDB, this is the quintessential Aussie Hot Rod-head movie. Most likely for the race sequences. This wasn't the crowning acheivement for me, as I have already let known. Not only was the story durable for the action crowd, but some of the comedy was spot on for those of us who look for that in a flick. For example:

"Whats ya name?"

"Piss off!"

"Piss off? What type of a name is that?"

"Its polish. Pissov's a Polish name!"

Comic genius as far as I'm concerned for a movie of this caliber.

As far as the negative is concerned, I must admit the acting wasn't great and some of the stunts were ridiculous, but i expect that out of ozploitation. It was slow at points, but the action scenes and character acting pulled it out of any slum. The fact is if you are a fan of the genre, love rockabilly culture and hot rod movies, this movie is for you. I've seen a great deal of bad shit out of the southern hemisphere and this is not one of those movies. This is something I can watch time and time again and still get the same thrill as the first time.

And here is the trailer:

Luchador Posters and Refusal Process

Unlike the rest of the genre blogging community, I am not going to review any horror movies this week. Yes, it's true, I'm a nonconformist just like all my friends. It has nothing to do with hatred of the Halloween holiday or horror in general. I've actually been watching horror movies non-stop for close to a week. I just feel like doing something a little bit different but still within the spirit. You see, for the last 2 Halloweens I have donned a luchador mask. Luchadors aren't very scary, but I love them and they live in their costumes, and I tend to spend a bit more blogspace than most people on the subject.

While looking over Wrong Side of the Art today during my lunch, as I usually do, I came across this lovely poster from the luchador movie The Rose on the Ring(Una rosa sobre el ring,1973,Mexico)a movie I picked up for 5 bucks a couple years back, and even though it has no subtitles, enjoyed watching it. What sets this flick apart from other Mil Mascaras movies is the way it plays out. Instead of cheesy monsters and glorious wrestling madness, this movie could be set to an opera without a problem. A cheesy opera mind you, but one none the less. I am always happy finding luchador posters on Wrong Side. It means it's just one more piece of awesome to post on my wall.



Ain't it Majestic?

When friends make movies:True King-The Steve Hawkes Story

There are two kinds of people in my world: those who watch movies and those who make movies. I, like a lot of people I know, fit very nicely into the first category. In fact, not only do I watch movies, I try to step it up and write about the movies I watch. After watching 1000's of movies in my lifetime,there are certain elements each and every one of my cinematic delights that make that movie favorable to me. I use these favorable elements to analyze, form opinions, and apply this thought process to anything else I might watch in the future Over time, these thoughts and ideas of what makes a movie good enough might come together to form a cohesive storyline for what I would consider the perfect movie. If I then chose to put those ideas on paper, I might start the slow transition into becoming the other guy: the movie maker.

Chances are, that won't happen anytime soon, if at all.

Thankfully I know people who had the dream, and the drive to become the movie makers, and are in the process of making it happen. Unfortunately, making a movie is no simple task. It requires 100's of hours of work, whether it's filming or editing, and a fair amount of capital. That's right kids.....Capital. Very rarely, if at all, will a film maker see there ideas put to film without a sizable amount of cashflow.

This is the predicament my homeboys over at Bife Productions are currently in. Currently, Pete Barr and Tim Fife have completed the filming, created a teaser trailer, and I working around the clock trying to do whatever humanly possible to finish, True King:The Steve Hawkes Story. For them to truly reach the freshman filmer finish line, though, they need to raise $2000 by December 1st. 51 days to make a dream a reality. Thankfully, with the help of Kickstarter.com and your donation, as well as mine, I think this goal can be reached.

True King is a documentary about Steve Hawkes, former body builder and b-movie star, who after a horrific accident, left Hollywood for good and now runs a big cat sanctuary in Florida. Who in their right mind wouldn't be interested in learning about the exciting life of a former Tarzan? Besides, this movie has tiger cubs, and everybody loves tiger cubs. Big cats in cinema always make a movie that much more entertaining.

If that's not enough to get you interested, check out one of the trailers:



For more information about the movie and the ability to give your two-cents(literally)check out the True King Kickstarter site.

And to read and excellent article about the True King project, give the Seacoast Online article a looksee.

Let's make this happen!!!

Royal Flush Festival announces there Main Line-up for 2009!!

We at the Royal Flush Festival are pleased to announce are Main Line-Up for RFF 2009. Everything you are looking for in the realm of film, art, and music for the month of October. Even if you don't know what the fuck you want in life, let us help you.

Take a Sneak Peak of the Awesomeness behind this door!!!

That's not all, kids!!! Ticket links, more special events, and the FULL lineup of this year's selection of all programmed films will be available by September 1st, 2009.

Cinema-Site Highlight::Wrong Side of the Art

I spend a great deal of time on cinema-related websites. In fact, I would go as far to say that politics and current affairs mean less to me than what some random asshole, like myself, has to say about Laura Gemser. Truth be told, there are a lot of us assholes out there in the blogosphere. A minuscule amount compared to, say, the dime-a-dozen wetbrains that write about what ever garbage Hollywood churns out to Walking Thoughtless. B we genre-cinema fiends have a fairly cozy corner of the internet to get lost in for many hours at a time. I do it, and if you are reading this, you are probably just as guilty as me.

I've been meaning to highlight some of the blogs and other websites I spend most of my time with when I'm not losing my humanity on Facebook or Twitter. The optimum idea for said blogging-about-blog blog entry would be to highlight a site a week, but knowing the way I do things on CdT, I would be lucky do it once a month.

For this first Site Highlight, I present to you Wrong Side of the Art!

Wrong Side of the Art is what I consider the best online resource for exploitation/b-cinema poster art. Not only is the site updated more than once a day, everyday as far as I can tell, but the art posted is actually worth saving to your hard drive. Unlike many poster images scattered over the internet, the images on Wrong Side are sized to perfect printing size. I'm not quite sure how the webmaster has both the time and resources to update on such a regular basis, but kudos to them! Any place I can grab a Japanese Godzilla poster on the same page as a Funicello/Avalon Beach movie print is practically the closest thing I could get to Net Heaven. The biggest problem I've ran into with Wrong Side of the Art is the lack of space I have on the walls of my apartment.

So whether your into cinema, pop art, or both, Wrong Side of the Art is a great place to get lost for all those ours you don't care to spend with 140-characters. And if you would rather tweet than check out poster art you will never see anyplace else, you might want to try a 12-stewp program.

Quentin Tarantino's Top 20 Movies since 1992

During my lunch break at work, I like to take the time to check out the daily activity on my local Brooklyn blogs while I stuff my face full of shit people barely consider "food"(I love you cheese puffs!) I find this daily ritual to be relaxing and the blogs I read won't steal time from me like cinema-related blogs I typically read during my spare time. I value having a job, so I like to keep my feeding time quick, hence staying away from getting lost in my passion. Today, while getting my 10 minutes of Freewilliamsburg.com in before I started in on my sammich, I noticed this article, as short as it is, and the video to accompany it. I've spouted off time-and-time again on what side of the QT fence I exist in, so I was excited to hear what his top 20 movies have been since 1992, the year he started directing if I remember correctly.

I present you the list:

Battle Royale
Anything Else
Audition
Blade
Boogie Nights
Dazed & Confused
Dogville
Fight Club
Friday
The Host
The Insider
Joint Security Area
Lost In Translation
The Matrix
Memories of Murder
Police Story 3
Shaun of the Dead
Speed
Team America
Unbreakable

If you watch the video, you will notice that Tarantino states that these movies are his Top 20 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER with the exception of Battle Royale, a position I don't necessarily disagree (I might own a T-shirt). While I admire the man's ability to come up with a cohesive list, a feat I don't think I could ever achieve, I must say I can't agree with some of his choices.

Speed?!? Come on, Quent? You may be one of the only people with a Sandra Bullock feature on a Top 20 List in existence. I will admit that I find the majority of the QT list favorable, a couple I wouldn't touch with a leper's dick.I'm also a bit of a fanboy, so you would probably find some of those slots taken up by movies of Tarantino's. While I may not agree with Friday, Blade, and Lost in Translation as anyone's best, I will admit to have quite the hard-on for Fight Club, Shaun of the Dead, and Unbreakable.

But enough of my wack-ass opinion, watch the video and decide for yourself if you find Tarantino's judgment lacking or not.

Let's try to Kickstart this again-Big Screen in the Big Apple 7/24

I'm going to try this again. A couple months ago I got this great idea to make weekly posts about cult movie going-ons in the Big Apple. I probably got one or two entries in before I either lost interest in the idea, or was at the bar on the day I should have been writing it. The last couple months have been hectic, as you've heard me bitch about time and time again, but I really can't complain. I am working the Programming Dept. for Royal Flush Festival, I have a girlfriend, and the current economic recession doesn't seem to have affected business at my day job. I guess my only concern is not being able to update this fucking thing as much as I would like.

So if I can't write reviews as much as I would like to, I might as well write about cinema happenings in NYC every week. I owe that to myself to keep busy. So here we go again....


Big Screen in the Big Apple 7/24

Deadgirl(2008) I have wanted to see the latest hype in undead entertainment since Goreboy reviewed it and Bryan at Cinema Suicide did a write up here. I can't recall the last time coming-of-age movies involved the living dead, but it sounds like an interesting concept.



Deadgirl will be showing on July 24th and 25th at midnight at the Sunshine Theater, 143 E Houston St between First and Second Ave.

More to come as the day moves on.....