The Vampire Diaries or better yet, Diarrhea

Last night, while lounging around waiting for dinner, I came across the broadcast atrocity known as the Vampire Diaries. I know many of you have seen at least one episode of the Undead One Tree Hill, so I'm going to keep this pretty brief. Besides, you've probably heard it all before. I didn't just stumble upon Diaries thinking,"Hey, this might be good". I was actually more of the mindset of," I know I'm going to hate this, but I might as well give it a test drive". Besides, it will give me something to bitch about, and we all need to vent about shallow shit during the cold months. It keeps our blood boiling and body temperature up.

I, like everybody else in the horror community, have just about had enough with the vampire overkill prevalent in pop culture today. Again, we have all heard it, but I'm going to give my two cents. The older I get, everything that I once held sacred starts to lose it's meaning. Whether it be music,cinema, or fashion, the pink, fluffy pop machine has co-opted it and churned out a much weaker, brain-dead clone of almost everything in this world that made me happy in my youth. Anyway, before this turns into an old man rant, lets focus on the bloodsuckers.

As far as watered-down vampire culture is concerned, it's not even the cry baby vamps that bother me so much. I watch and like True Blood immensely. Even though Bill's a pussy, I'm still there for Erik. Even though i prefer my fanged folk to be barbaric, nosferatu, i can settle with the whiners, especially if they have opposition. What really bothers me are the daywalkers.

There are reasons vampires have weakness' like wooden stakes, silver, and sunlight. Because if they didn't, humanity as a whole would play slave race to Undead Godkind. Trust me, if vampires didn't burn up upon the touch of our friend, The Sun, they wouldn't be mopey,pale skinned whiners with a penchant for human girls. No, my friend, I guarantee their psychology, or lack there of, would change accordingly. I'm sure they would be worrying less about love and more about playing living-flesh chess.

This is one of the reasons why the idea of the daywalker bothers me. I'll go into more in depth one day, but I've given you a basic idea why I hate shows like Diaries and Twilight. Even if the vampires in Diaries weren't daywalkers, I'm sure I could find a million more reasons why the show sucks balls. As I said earlier though, if your reading this I'm just preaching to the choir.

Looks like I'll stick with Medium and a plethora of sitcoms for my primetime entertainment. I now know for a fact I won't be watching that Vampire Diarrhea's in the future.