Poliziotteschi Classics Tomorrow Evening at Spectacle

Looks like Spectacle Theater is going balls out this weekend with the Italian genre cinema. Poliziotteschi Saturday and Spaghetti Western Sunday along with their Midnite grindhouse spectaculars. I'll tell you this...if I were single, I would probably be there all weekend, especially for the Poliziotteschi films. I understand some of you readers might not be as familiar with this high action Italian genre I am. Just in case, here's a brief definition lifted from the pages of CG, "Poliziotteschi is a sub-genre of crime and action film that emerged in Italy in the late 1960s and became popular in the 1970s. Poliziotteschi films are also known as poliziottesco, Italo-crime, Euro-crime or simply Italian crime films."

Got it? I that wasn't enough think about this: a whole genre of film influenced by crime classics like Dirty Harry, but being that they are produced in Italy, are extremely over the top like a great deal of Italian genre cinema from the 70's. Lot's of revenge, mob hits, shoot outs, car chases and explosions. Everything a guy could ever want in a movie.



No Way Out(1973) aka Tony Arzenta at 7:30 PM.

IMDB says - "Duccio Tessari's superb Italian crime film stars Alain Delon as hit man Tony Arzenta who decides that it's time to retire from the game. After a brutal attack on his family he sets out for revenge. Also stars genre regulars Richard Conte, Anton Diffring, Marc Porel & Erika Blanc with a great soundtrack by Gianni Ferrio."

Spectacle says - "In this stylish and moody revenge-driven bloodbath, an icy and lethal hit man who wants to quit the game but the Mob doesn’t want to let him go."



and at 9:30 PM High Crime(1973)aka La polizia incrimina la legge assolve starring the superbly wonderful Franco Nero.

IMDB says - "f you have never seen an Italian crime movie, this is a great place to start. unlike many other films of this type, it actually works on an emotional level as well as being very entertaining, simular to the films of Scorsese. it's a very violent film, but none of the violence is gratuitous. lots of stylish slow motion shootings, car explosions, and people run over by various moter vehicles, and the excellent musical score by Guido and Maurizio De Angelis captures the emotion of these scenes perfectly. the cast is also very good, especialy Italian Star Franco Nero. highly recommended."

Spectacle says - "A fast paced, violent, gritty, and innovative crime thriller about a tough cop going hard after an international drug ring. One of the best crime thrillers ever made, this film is relentless and brutal, and filled with a constantly shifting storyline, and a mesmerizing score by Guido De Angelis & Maurizio De Angelis."

Spectacle 124 S. 3rd St., (at Bedford Ave.)Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Killing More Creeps with Death Wish 3(1985)

It's nice to be able to count on AMC to provide me with the right kind of entertainment a guy like me needs when he's sitting at a dive bar drinking whiskey shots and Pabst Blue Ribbon. No, I'm not speaking of The Walking Dead or Mad Men, although I was quite impressed with the former(and zombies do go with said whiskey and cheap beer indulgence). If you've been paying attention at all this week, then you would have noticed the AMC is running a Death Wish marathon. Yeah you heard me correctly, a Death Wish marathon. So while you were out enjoying "weather" and talking about useless Brits getting married, I was watching Paul Kersey take down punks with over-sized weapons while fueling myself with Wings and booze.......America!!!

A couple of months ago I covered Death Wish 2 after having watched it back-to-back with the original. I have held a special place in my heart for Charles Bronson for a while now, but it was only recently that I had screened the Death Wish series. Hearing that the first two were the best, I decided to take my time with the third to avoid disappointment so quickly after seeing the second. Three months later and I finally got my turn or the Bronson-mobile, and I didn't even have to pay for it. I just happened to be lucky enough to catch Death Wish 3 on AMC last night after my afternoon 90210. For all of you people out there that told me the first two were really the only ones worth watching, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Death Wish 3 was by far my favorite of the series, and I saw part of the fourth, so I know it doesn't get better from there on out.

If you've haven't seen it, I should probably summarize it for you:

Everyone's favorite vigilante and World's Unluckiest Man, Paul Kersey, makes his way back to NYC, to visit his war buddy after living in "Exile" out in Los Angeles for the last several years. As we all know from the first two movies, death and sadness follow Kersey around like a venereal disease. Paul just happens to get to get to his friends apartment as he and his wife were slaughtered by the neighborhood hoodlums....go figure. This unfortunately leads to Paul being taken into custody(more bad luck). The Department Head, who's name I can't remember or even care to, remembers the name Kersey being associated with the vigilante justice that lowered Manhattan's crime-rate, even if it was temporary, just a few years before. Since then, said Department Head has been given the duty of an area of Brooklyn known affectionately as East New York, and he can't seem to keep to piece. You see, East New York is rundown and overrun with gang violence that would make Somalian ghettos look like the suburbs. Since Department Head doesn't feel that he, nor his squadron, can really do anything to help out the pathetic vestiges of good residents left in the area, he conscripts Kersey to help clean up. And Kersey only knows one way to deal with punks, or in this case, creeps.......superior firepower!

The Third installment of Death Wish got a bunch of shit from the critics for being to unrealistic and over the top. From what I've read, even Bronson was embarrassed by the direction it took. Bully for them, because everything that was hated about Death Wish 3 was what kept my eyes glued to the screen. Non-stop violence, big guns, Kersey's ability to bed a women by the second date...it was all here. Best of all were the roving gangs of punks, and you know how much I love that shit. Yes, I agree the plots of the first two films were better scripted, but who needs a fucking storyline with this much action. By the third installment, I would just expect Kersey to have a free pass to smoke punks anywhere he went in the world and I would have been happy and Three actually gave me that, even though it was restricted to an area of Brooklyn that is still one of the worst neighborhoods in America.

I agree with the "unrealistic" criticism people give it, but that's the kind of shit that makes a great action/revenge movie. People don't watch these type of films to relate whole-heartedly, they do it to live that kind of fantastic lifestyle, even if it is just for 90 minutes. Death Wish 3 was just to good to limit to a review and one blog entry. I think I'm going to have to give it further thought tomorrow. I don't rate movies very often, but in this case, it's a 5 of 5 bar none.

Dead End Drive-In(1986)

Since falling in love with the doc Not Quite Hollywood the other day, I have become obsessed with the idea of tracking down as many of the movies covered as I can. As I explained in that review, I'm not well versed in Ozploitation, but I sure as hell want to be. With so much to choose from, I wanted to start off my obsessive sequence of Aussie reviews with the movie that grabbed at me the most, and also because it was one of the last films covered. According to the industry specialists, it is also considered the last big Ozploitation film before the movements death at the hands of the straight-to-video industry. If you've seen the documentary, or read the title of this blog entry, you most likely know that I am talking about Dead End Drive-In(1986).

Dead End Drive-In takes place in a bleak future, I guess some people might refer to it as "Dystopian", although the only "planned and structured society" seems to take place in small, controlled areas, namely drive-in theaters. This isn't common knowledge though, as we can see from the ignorance of our hero, Jimmy, known affectionately as Crabs. It's hard to tell if crabs is an idiot, or just a really good guy. Society is crumbling around him, but he spends most of the time jogging and boxing. Despite the fact that he can't go anywhere in Sydney to deliver pies without run-ins with the punker gangs, known as carboys. Carboys are your typical muscle-car bullies. When they aren't harassing people on foot or in compact cars, they can be seen scavenging parts from wrecks and abandoned cars. Not exactly the friendliest of people.

After a couple of run-ins with the carboys, Crabs decides taking his girlfriend, Carmen, on a date to the drive-in is a good idea, even though society is crumbling around him. In order to impress his runaway girlfriend, Crabs steals his brother's '56 Chevy. Being typical hormonally-driven teens, the two kids ditch paying attention to the flick and move straight into bumping uglies in the back seat. Wrong move. Just as things started getting heavy, both back tires are stolen, rendering the Chevy incapable of movement. Must be the carboys again, right? Wrong, it looks like the cops are trying to get a piece of the scavenging action too, but not for the same reasons. When Crabs wakes up in the morning, he discovers that he's not the only one stuck at the drive-in. There are close to 200 youngsters living in the theater parking lot like it was some kind of permanent Phish lot, and none of them seem to want to escape. Crabs doesn't get it, and keeps up living a healthy lifestyle despite the punk rock parking lot party that is a constant around him. At this point everybody, including Carmen, has come to except that watching movies and eating junk food is their future, no matter how concentration-like there new life is. Crabs ain't going out like that though, and will do whatever it takes to get out, even kill.

Despite his clean living, I felt the Crabs must have been one of the biggest, fucking idiot I've seen in a movie. Despite being told time-and-time again he wasn't going anywhere, he didn't get it, and I don't think it was just blind determination. I really think his IQ was somewhere in the lower, yet functional, double-digits. No matter how many times he was told, even by his girlfriend, to "relax and have fun, you're not going anywhere" he refused. I think he genuinely believed if he had tires and gas, the drive-in prison actually had an open door policy. Besides, why would he ever want to leave? Society is crumbling on the outside, and he can live of life of junk food, drugs, and drive-in movies. This doesn't sound too bad to me. It actually sounds like the perfect way to spend my time as society goes apocalyptic. Granted, I don't think I could ever go all white power when the Asians are all bussed in, like everybody else did, even the black prisoners(?), but these things happen. That's why it's best to stay out of politics when shit hits the fan.

My first Aussie flick, after seeing Not Quite Hollywood, was completely worth the time I took away from Facebook and the boobtube. I had everything I expected(punks, car chases, sexytime and explosions) and even a little more I didn't expect(racism and heroic idiocy). This is definitely one of those movies I'm going to pass off to friends who have seen the documentary, and I'll probably even watch it with them.

Death Wish II aka Why Did it take me 30 Years to Meet Paul Kersey

Despite being an action movie buff, I just recently watched the first two Death Wish films. Two films, which most worshipers of the action/revenge genre would refer to as gospel, I had let go by for over 30 years. Why, I'm not quite sure. Possibly because my interest in action films didn't really go much beyond martial arts during my impressionable years. Guns and car chases were never really "a thing" for me until the latter part of my life. Sure, I always loved Seagal and JCVD, but those dicks were always so skilled with the hands and feet, firearms and explosions always looked like a suckers way out. Due to my obsession with Italian and 70's cinema over the last few years, I have actually become entranced with the shoot-em-ups and big explosions, and with those types of films came a fondness for Charles Bronson. Even though I put off watching his most famous works for a couple of years of being a fan of the Cinema God of Vengeance, I'm kind of glad I did because I was once again inspired to write for this piece-of-shit blog that hasn't been updated in many moons.

So I give a big thanks to Chuck for the inspiration.

As if 20 minutes ago I just finished watching Death Wish II, a flick that I'm sure many of my cohorts in the trash cinema world have not only watched repeatedly, but have probably written about on there own blogs. Besides that, I'm the freak idiot who never took the time to watch it. So even if you haven't masturbated to it, if you are reading this you have probably seen it, so I don't really think I have to summarize it.

If you haven't, the show goes something like this: Paul lives in LA after escaping his past bad luck, only to fall upon NEW bad luck. New bad luck being same as the old bad luck(violent muggers). New bad luck rapes and murders Paul's loved ones, so he goes out on a revenge spree, "nuff said. The story was told in the first movie, and repeats in this one. Since 5 other Death Wish movies were made, I'm sure the story was repeated another 3 times.

All I have to say is Paul Kersey is an extremely unlucky MFer. In the first film, his wife gets murdered and his daughter raped into catatonia. That is seriously too much for one man to take. Any of us would understand taking the law into his own hands, any Red-Blooded American Man would want to, especially during the 70's when Real Men ruled the silver screen. In the next film, his life's misfortune repeats in almost the exact same fashion, yet he still remains cool. In fact, 5 movies in and he's still going.

Fuck that shit! Any person stationed in reality would really start questioning the existence of a Higher Power. If not that, wondering what evil they had done in a previous life to deserve so much sorrow. That's some Hitler-level shit if you ask me. Paul Kersey keeps on killing punks. Joe Schmoe Normalguy would probably go on to commit suicide or join some kind of religious order, possibly both. This reason alone makes me question whether I want to see 3,4, and 5. It's seems like it would not only be unrealistic, but extremely played out at that point. I probably will though, not because I'm a sucker for punishment and really love Bronson. But because of the fact that the first two Death Wish films were utterly amazing and I'm sure I'll find similar qualities in the final three.

Crank: High Voltage.

Holy shit! How do I start this off?! I LOVE bad movies. If I were to list a top five I would probably get this site shut down. I love such bad movies that STEVE even invited me to write for him. Steve likes TRASH and apparently I embarrass HIM to the point where I was Bullied into writing. I have been long awaiting the best opportunity to take up this task have finally found a reason to do so. However I don't believe I will ever have a way to adequately convey through the format of words the awesome cinematic experience I have just gone through.

Crank 2 is epic. I would try and bring up a previous experience in YOUR own life that could come close to or even eclipse the movie I just saw by bringing you back to your first real ROCK AND FUCKING ROLL SHOW, but for all I kno you are into some pussy ass bird-watching music about tree-houses. Naw. If your reading this you are most definitely a connoisseur of depravity its forms and view any daintiness something to be spit upon.

This shit was so fucking belligerent. I have had those experiences. Those foam at the lips on your face with your hands in the AIR while you get your ribs punched and elbowed green an yellow. Those wake up with bruises mornings where all you can do is start drinking coffee in the hopes of getting as amped for sunlight today as you were for fucking STARDOM the night before!!! DESTROY!!!

My Great GODS ABOVE!!! I would punch this review into not just keyboards or walls or cars or bricks or your very own fucking face!!! I was so fucking riled up when I got home that I could have punched this review into a mountain instead of typing it into the night like some kind of quiet person.

I often times find myself trying to create a stir in public. If you walk (or better yet RUN) around screaming SEX AND VIOLENCE it gets a great reaction. Crank Two is more than that. Not just a frenzied shouting of said phrase but the actions contained therein in a most brutal manner! I have never been so close to FUCKING SHIT UP in a public place! I lived in Dens of sin where that shit is a requirement. I have been in PITS in theatres but never before was I tempted to WRECK in a CINEMA! This movie really could only benefit by a live band. I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen down the line. Fuck. I would play that music and jump out of the screen with lightning shooting out of my AWESOME COCK and that movie would not falter one fucking step. Even if I for some reason don't get to do this, this movie does have a really good soundtrack. Mike Patton did a good fucking job on the film score, and whoever chose the music besides got it down just right.


On a more serious note, it was an awesome movie. It made Shoot-Em'-Up look like a Connery Bond movie. It was totally non-stop. The small amount of character development/love interest/melodrama that did happen was put forth in such a ludicrous and outlandish manner that they in no way take away from the pacing of the film. I had a good solid 32 oz. of beer in me by the 45 minute mark and was REALLY pressed to find a suitable time to get up for a piss. You never know when Statham is gonna go flying out of a window or someone is gonna get a gun put to their head. Chev Chellios (Statham) is basically a living GTA. Except crazier. He runs around this movie like a crazed lunatic. He makes NICO Bellic look like Rain Man. To pull a quote from the movie itself, Chellios is "The Sickest most wickedest motherfucker to ever vaporize a motherfucker in cold blood".

The more kinetic moments of Tsukomoto's Tetsuo or Sogo Iishi's Burst city were brought to mind during Chellios' supercharge power ups. That being said, there are tons of other references to hectic pop culture as well. Looking at the fact that he has to power up or die, we see video games as a source for the entire plot. When he is all juiced up he often just runs wherever he needs to go. His fucking feet barely even touch the ground, like Sonic the Hedgehog. He powers up to kill badguys like Pacman. Fuck, at the beginning of the movie he even had a Life-bar. Turtles gotta eat pizza slices, Chevs gotta get juiced too. It got taken in a somewhat more sado-masochistic direction that pizza power this time, but it got my attention.

Horrible bootleg HK action cinema is also referenced by a totally gross Asian hooker that Chellios gets stuck with early on. She talks in broken english that is subtitled and I couldn't help but be reminded of all the terrible fan-subs I have watched.

In any case, I could go on about all types of crazy shit that happens in this movie. There is a strip club shootout that would make Robert Rodriguez puke in his pants. Full body Tourettes, Tatoos, Sushi, TITS! Its all there. The only reason to not be watching this movie is if you are watching the first one.