Monday, March 16, 2009

Dr Mordrid(1992)

Typically when I mention Full Moon Entertainment, or any of there many releases, to my friends who are familiar I usual get an answer somewhere along the lines to "fuck that shit". Not that I hang out with film school fuckfaces, but a great deal of my compatriots are fans of the-gorier-the-better-school of horror. Even though Full Moon claims to produce horror movies, most people know that their releases are far from scary, most are actually so cheesy by accident it becomes hysterical. look at such greats as Troll, Ghoulies, and the Puppet Master series. If you know anybody who has ever had nightmares or been surprised by any of these movies, there is probably something wrong with them. Full Moon horror is far from scary, ever-so-slightly gory and the closest they get to "risque" comes in the form of f-bombs and the occasional boob. So you can see why horror purists would have a problem with most of the Full Moon catalog. Their movies are quite retarded, and this is one of the things I love about them. Not quite in the "so bad, it's good" or "bad-good,good-bad" categories, but somewhere around there. I always love taking in a Full Moon movie with several beers, a light snack, and a whole lotta giggling. This is exactly what I did tonight with Dr. Mordrid, sans the brew.

Dr. Mordrid is not exactly a horror, it is more of a low-budget fantasy, which makes it more retarded then the previous Full Moon features I have cast my eyes upon. Dr. Anton Mordrid is an occult researcher/NYC landlord by day, and the protector of the 3rd Dimension/Earth by night. He has been trapped on our planet for the better part of a century awaiting for the return of the sorcerer known as the Death's Head aka Kabal. As the story goes, many centuries ago, Mordrid and Kabal were both gifted sorcerers from an early age, growing up together. As young male friends-who-are-like-brothers tend to do, they were very competitive in their mystical studies, always trying to one up each other as if life was a game. As they both grew older and more powerful, each chose a different path to follow in life> Mordrid as the Protector, and Kabal as the Enslaver. When Kabal becomes too unruly, Mordrid casts him and his demonic minions into magical imprisonment and leaving the 4th Dimension awaiting the day that Kabal might escape as fate predicts.

As I said before, a century goes by with Mordrid as the Protector of Humanity. I don't really know if he is earth's only hero because I'm not that familiar with the Full Moon Universe. With all the tie-ins the company puts out(Dollman vs. Demonic Toys vs. Puppetmaster,ect.) I'm guessing he could probably wrangle up a couple of other bad mutherfuckers who fight for truth, justice, and Albert Band way. But he didn't, so the good ole' Doctor only has the help of Samantha the occult investigator against Kabal and his headbangin' minions. Sounds pretty easy for someone who has had a hundred years to perfect, doesn't it? Wrong again. When Kabal's far-from-virginal teenage concubine is found dead, Mordrid becomes public enemy number one according to the NYPD. How will the good doctor ever protect the human race from the inside of a cell?

I'm not even going to go into an ending. Not like I ever do anyway because I don't want to spoil this awesome piece-of-shit for you potential viewers, and I do hope you take the time to get wasted and laugh hysterically. Can you really go wrong with such great names for actors as Jeffrey Combs(Re-Animator) and Brian Thompson(Ugly muscular dude,X-Files,Baywatch,ect)playing roles they were obviously born for, like every other role the played previously and after.Besides, do you really want to take the opportunity to miss the stop motion animation sequences? That's right, stop motion animation. The high-end special FX used in such cinema classics as Jason and the Argonauts and The Gate. The dino-skeleton battle is to die for. Who needs Jurassic Park level CGI(which I believe was in theatres at this point) when you have stop motion animation?

It's unfortunate that Full Moon never went ahead and did with Dr. Mordrid what they did with Puppetmaster. This is one of those movies I would love to have seen multiple sequels of. There are just so many unanswered questions. What of his budding love affair with Samantha? Will he ever get an apprentice? How would Anton look in a shiny ruby red outfit? I want to know, dammit!!! Besides, a series could have made Jeffrey Combs a household name. Regardless, this movies is a fun watch as long as you don't expect anything deep, well acted, or grotesquely horrifying. If your into watching silly shit every once in awhile, grab a couple of Old English 800's and prepare to giggle yourself retarded.

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